How to handle that hangover.

The weekend has arrived and with it, the promise of another night out spent dancing your troubles away. That, and perhaps one tequila shot too many. So how do you handle that hangover from hell you ask? Here’s the biggest secret of all: Just don’t drink.

I got you didn’t I. Don’t be alarmed, I am not here to convince you to give up your ways or face eternal damnation. I’m just here to help you be more responsible about them.
I’m sure some are thinking: “Well, I don’t need alcohol to have fun!” and I salute you. To those who believe otherwise, a comforting quote:

I hate when people say you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Well you don’t need running shoes to run but it sure helps“.- Unknown (but genius).

I’m going to start the show with some preventative measures:

It’s common knowledge to not mix your drinks throughout the night. However, in the case of an open bar or that one friend handing you different shots left, right and centre it’s easier said than done but your future self will kiss your feet for it. In addition, I’d highly recommend a glass of water between every drink. Yes, EVERY drink. I’ve done this many times and it’ll make a world of difference. The fact that you may need to pee like a water buffalo is only a minor inconvenience in comparison. Those trips to the bathroom are also a great way to gage your state of mind. If you’re sitting on the toilet/ leaning on the wall and giggling to yourself or are beginning to talk to your reflection in the mirror, you should probably slow down a tad.

Now, if you’re in the cab home realising the damage has been done, you’ve got to have a plan of action for the next 24 hours.

First of all, eat. Pizza, chinese noodles, kebaps, the world is your oyster. In the case of nausea, I would skip this step. You can however order a meal online (if you’re able) and set the delivery time for around noon the next day so you’ll firstly, be forced to get out of bed and secondly, have a steaming hot meal to cure you of your misery. Then, force yourself to drink at least a litre of water and have a Panadol at the ready on your night stand. I would remind you to go brush your teeth but you know you won’t because by this time you will have already dived into bed. Should the world be rotating too fast for your liking as you lay down, leaving one leg to hang off the bed and touch the floor apparently helps to reduce the spinning.

In the morning, you’ve just got to accept that you’re a disaster and will not have a productive day. You already feel like crap, no need to pile on the guilt. When you’ve gathered the courage to leave the bed, go and shower! You’ll no longer reek of last nights decisions and you’ll feel much fresher afterwards. Then, grab a bottle of pop ( Pepsi is my personal favourite), assume the fetal position on the couch and switch to Netflix even if  you’re going to fall into a coma anyway. Should you manage to wake up before 7PM, go for a walk. I know it sounds absurd, but fresh air in your system will do wonders.

There you have it. The true guide to handle a hangover like a BOSS.
After having passed on such “wisdom” I wish you all a wonderful weekend. Happy hangovers!

– A Pearl of the Orient.

 

 

 

 

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Am I a clean freak?

I have been holding back from writing this post for a LONG time in hopes of finding my inner-peace but when I came home today to find MULTIPLE snot stains on my couch I thought I was going to turn green, rip my clothes off and start beating on my chest. So here it is, another rant. Grab a cookie, a glass of milk, take your socks off and bask in my anger, apparently it’s entertaining.

I’ll acknowledge that I’m probably not the easiest person to live with. I’m incredibly protective of my food and am prepared to suffocate anyone who takes the last slice of pizza without permission. Do you even know the pain of waking up first thing in the morning, thinking to yourself: “Great, I’ll have some Pizza for breakfast (eaten cold because i’m hardcore)”, only to open a greasy box which has evidently been put back into the fridge due to the fact that it contains nothing but a measly piece of salami in it? Additionally, I’m pretty much a grandma on weekdays and don’t have much tolerance for large groups of people and noise when I’m planning to catch my Z’s at ten pm. My eighteen year old self would hate me. However, the thing I’m most particular about is cleanliness.You’re picturing me as the crazy asian version of Monk now, aren’t you? Well in that case, picture this.

You’ve come home after an extended weekend away.The apartment is empty so your roommates must to be out. You hang up your keys and run to the toilet because as per usual, you got the urge to pee as you were in the lift. You slam the door shut and just as you’re about to sit down , what do you see?  A toilet bowl which has clearly been violated. A person (or a bear) has clearly taken a ‘big one’, flushed and decided to leave a huge stain for the next person to clean up as a nice little bonding activity. Tasty.

Then, on the way to kitchen, a dull stench wafts down the hallway. Its source is a rubbish can, filled to the top and overflowing on to the floor. Juices and all. Someone was definitely going to take that out today, no cause for a commotion. You navigate around the trash pile only to notice your stocks are sticking to the floor. It appears as if an unidentified brown sticky substance has coated the floor and been left to dry. Pepsi? Barbecue Sauce? You’re not going to taste and find out.

You open the fridge which is covered in ketchup stains and are caught off guard by the cheesy aroma which drifts out. You poke around to find the culprit, an old, open mozzarella packet, with it’s juices leaking out. You push it to the side because you are strong and refuse to clean up someones mess again and continue loading in your groceries.

You then proceed to cook your dinner, ignoring the stove which has become slightly crusty and the various remnants of whatever meal was put together before on the kitchen counter. With the intentions of putting away your own mess, you open the dishwasher to find that it is curiously full though there are a total of maybe five items inside. “Somebody didn’t play Tetris as a child” , you mumble to yourself. You go about reorganizing the dishwasher to fit in your pan,plate and glass. Before you can escape to your room, you decide to take a nice relaxing shower.

You grab a towel, strip yourself down and hop into the tub. There appears to be a fluffy hairball in the drain. You swallow hard, take a cotton pad and attempt to remove it slowly. It catches. It’s stuck in there pretty good. You pull and pull until finally, your hand is free! You shudder and toss it all in the bin. It is done.

You feel yourself relax as the hot stream of water beats down on your tired muscles. The smell of your shampoo calms you. After you reluctantly step out, your fogged up reflection greets you in the mirror. You take the corner of your towel and quickly wipe over it. For some reason, you still don’t clearly see yourself. It dawns on you that this is due to the fact that the mirror is actually covered in toothpaste stains. You feel your head get hot. The vein in your neck begins to pulse and then…you black out.

When you open your eyes, you are standing in a spotless apartment with a fresh sheen of sweat on your forehead, a bottle of CIF in one hand and a washcloth in the other. You’ve lost the battle.

Disclaimer: The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this post are fictitious. No identification with actual persons, places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
*Not.

– A Pearl of the Orient.

Pokéball

Now that I’ve grabbed your attention with a misleading title (I know, I’m just SO devious), I will reveal to you that today’s blogpost has nothing to do with Pokemon, rather, with Poke Bowls.

For those of you who don’t know what that is: a Poke Bowl is a Hawaiian-inspired dish with a rice base, topped with greens and raw fish ( usually tuna) which has been marinated in an asian-style sauce. So basically…sushi, but cooler.

One thing you should know about me? If you tag me in a photo of food, I will instantly crave it. My cravings know no boundaries. So yes, after being bombarded with photos of Poke Bowls on social media, I knew I had to have it. However, after multiple google searches, I realised that not a single place in Vienna serves them. If any entrepreneurs are looking to invest in the food industry…here’s your market!

Anyway, seeing as Poke Bowls are not yet a thing over here, I decided to make my own…which was a bad idea. I don’t think there was a problem with the recipe itself, I just happened to succumb to a series of unfortunate events.

Firstly, I went to the store and was quite honestly offended by the price of fresh, sushi-grade salmon. Double the price of sushi from a restaurant, yet half the quantity! So me being me, I thought : Meh, smoked salmon will do. Then, while combining the ingredients, I put in WAY too much soy sauce, obviously forgetting that smoked salmon in itself is pretty salty. In combination with cooking too little rice, my Poke Bowl (though pretty) just ended up tasting like sodium and not much else. So why am I still sharing the recipe with you? Because I feel that if you can follow basic instructions (unlike me) , you’d have a masterpiece…so here it is!



Salmon & Avocado Poke Bowl

Author: justputzing
Recipe type: Lunch/Dinner
Cuisine: Asian, Hawaiian
Prep time:  15 mins
Cook time:  5 mins
Total time:  20 mins
Yields: 4
INGREDIENTS
  • 1 lb sushi-grade salmon
  • 1 avocado, cubed
  • Cooked white rice, to serve
  • ½ red onion, finely diced
  • ½ cup green onions, chopped
  • ⅓ cup soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp white sugar
  • ⅛ cup sesame oil
  • ½ tsp ground ginger
  • Sesame seeds
DIRECTIONS
  1. In a medium bowl, mix together red onion, green onion, soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil, and ginger. Set aside.
  2. Remove bones and skin from your salmon, if any, and cut the fish into ¾″ chunks.
  3. Add fish and avocado to the bowl with the marinade. Toss to coat. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
  4. Taste and adjust seasonings.
  5. Serve with extra diced green onions and sesame seeds on top of steamed white rice that has been cooled to room temperature.
  6. Enjoy!

    – A Pearl of the Orient.